”Love is patient, love is kind, it is not envious. Love does not brag, it is not puffed up. It is not rude, it is not self-serving, it is not easily angered or resentful. It is not glad about injustice, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
All this quarantine stuff has really made me think. Not being around the family as much has made me realize how easily we can take things for granted. I can tend to overlook that God has given me such wonderful blessings such as a house, church, safety, friends, and a wonderful family. Especially family. If you are like me, I often forget how special that is. There are those that have no one, and that is not Elaine and me. We have family to share our laughter and our burdens, and that is a wonderful thing. The above verse from the love chapter in Corinthians explains how important it to love one another.
Someone once said we should write the good that others do on a rock and the bad they do on the sand to be washed away. I think that good advice. If we are not forgiving of others (and especially our family) for their inadequacies (of which we all have many) the good they do will be overlooked (and there is much good they do) and the negative will be accentuated (and will cloud our feelings). Because we expect more out of those closest to us, we are sometimes much more forgiving of non-family than family; often in the same way that we are more forgiving of non-Christians than Christians (another type of family).
The closer people are to each other, the more they can become irritating. Porcupines find that out! Our pokiness will be most apparent to those who get closest to us. As most of you know you know I don’t shave as often as I should. To often I let my half beard reach the yucky-pokey state. (When I do that, passers-by drop quarters in my coffee cup!) When I was telling the grandkids good bye, my beard poked their cheeks and they usually react with an “ouch.” No other people are particularly bothered by my beard (well, maybe the looks, but not the feel) because I don’t get that close to anyone else. When we get close to people like we do in a family, that pokiness is the chance we take, but that is why it is doubly important to remember that “love is patient.”
Paul tells us in Galatians 5 that “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also behave in accordance with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, being jealous of one another.” A young Sunday schooler whose vocabulary was not quite developed read the last part of these verses and said, “poking” one another instead of “provoking” one another. But is that not accurate? Many a family back seat has become a rumble-tumble seat because of poking. If I had a quarter for every time I have heard, “He is poking me” I would be in the top 1%. By the way, kids are not the only ones who poke.
Notice the key in the above verse- Living by the Spirit. There is nothing more frustrating than trying to do all the above things in our own strength. The problem with us is that we so often do that- We know what the Christian walk is all about and we try to walk it on our own. As Barney Fife used to say, “Not goin’ to happen.”
We have all been in the situation where the people that we love most anger us the most easily. It hurts much more later because we know that “A joyful heart makes the face cheerful, but by a painful heart the spirit is broken” (Proverbs 15:13) and we hate breaking the spirit of those close to us. God calls us to be more Christ-like and to see what Christ was like when He was sent by God. Even though we have rejected God, rebelled against God, He is patient with us, and ”isn’t easily angered” (Exodus 34:6). Instead of giving us what we deserve, He sent Christ to die for us. He made a sacrifice; He gave his only Son on our behalf (John 3:16). That is the kind of love we need to strive for through the spirit. Sacrificing love that puts others needs before our own. Love that looks beyond the negative and looks at others through the eyes of God. We need to put others before ourselves even if they’ve hurt us or angered us,. We need to be patient with them because love is patient and we are called to patiently love.
Most of us have so much less drama than many families, and we should be thankful (ever watch Jerry Springer, Dr. Phil, or Judge Judy? Wow!). We need to be there for each other always. Sometimes we marry into the better or worse covenant, but families have a covenant they are born into it. We sometimes pick our extended family but God chooses our close family. Thank you, God, for giving us family.