“Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.”  (Leviticus 19:18)

Today I would like to talk about the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. Many people look at these as one of the same, but they are not.  Because there is a misunderstanding of both terms, many see forgiveness as impossible because reconciliation is impossible.  Fortunately for us these actions are not dependent on each other, but are mutually independent.  Satan would like to join them together as two sides of the same coin and the result is often neither forgiveness nor reconciliation.  God’s Word gives us the proper perspective on these two very important aspects of the Christian life.

Holding grudges is not advantageous to anyone.  It is not something that ever leads to healing.  In fact, holding on to grudges leads to one of the most ill-advised attitudes in the Word- bitterness.  A famous comedian once said that he never carries a grudge because while he is carrying a grudge against someone, “they are out dancing.”  This is so true.  The weight of the grudge is carried mainly on the shoulders of one.  Often the grudge-holder is the only one who knows a grudge is being held.  At other times, the grudge-holder is the only one who cares that a grudge is being held.  More often than not, the grudge-holder loses more sleep, energy, and health than the one against whom the grudge is being held.  Yet, with all these thing in mind, we still hold grudges and still get bitter, to our own detriment.

No matter how much we nurse a grudge, it will never get better.  Nursing it makes it worse.  We have a multitude of excuses to keep it going but few reasons.  The Word instructs us to, “Put away all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander, along with all malice.” (Ephesians 4:31)  Why?  Because it is a useless endeavor.  James says,  “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? (James 4:1)  Our inside battles result in outside ones.  When we war within ourselves because we allow bitterness against others to grow, we cannot grow ourselves.  Bitterness is a weed that chokes out the good growth within us.

When Leonardo DaVinci painted the last supper he decided to get back at an enemy by making his face the one of Judas.  The last face he had to paint was Jesus, but he could not get it right.  After laboring for weeks, in desperation he went back and changed the face of Judas to someone he did not know.  It was only then he was able to paint the face of Jesus.  Our bitterness against others will keep us from seeing the face of Jesus.  Not surprisingly, while DaVinci labored over the painting, his enemy was totally oblivious to the battle DaVinci was having.  Who then was suffering?  So it is with our grudges. So it is with our bitterness.  DaVinci needed to heed the verses in Hebrews, “Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.” (Hebrews 12:14,15)  We should not let our hate of others keep us from experiencing the love of the Lord.

There is no doubt that bitterness and grudges are heavy loads to carry.  In days past, armies had to carry their cannonballs around with them just in case they came across an enemy.  It made the travel difficult and cumbersome.  However, they felt it necessary to have the cannonballs “just in case.”  The enemy, which was traveling much more light, was often oblivious to the load the other army was carrying.  One army was burdened and slow, the other was unencumbered and fast.  Often when the armies did meet, fatigue of carrying a load made combat difficult and the cannonball-wielding army would lose. So it is with us.  The fatigue of carrying grudges just so we can be on the offensive if the opportunity might arise makes us so weak that we have little strength for anything else.  The other person, often not even knowing we are carrying a grudge, has been traveling through life lightly and is strong while we are frail- eaten away by our own bitterness.

So does forgiveness mean the same thing as reconciliation.  To forgive must we reconcile?  I don’t think those two things are the same things.  “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” (Romans 12:19)  What God is addressing here is what we are responsible for and what God is responsible for.  We are not God and we cannot be the judge and jury in His stead.  Forgiveness takes only our partnership with God, reconciliation must include another willing party.  That is important to understand.  Just because we have not reconciled with someone does not mean we have not forgiven. But be aware.  Forgiveness as God expresses it, is something deep, something real.  We cannot just say we forgive, we must really forgive. If we cannot be reconciled to another, we must be sure that our forgiveness is complete.  If not, we might think the lack of reconciliation is the other person’s fault when it is really our own attitude standing in the way!

It is important to note that forgiveness of an act is not necessarily acceptance of that act. If we forgive someone for what he or she has done, we are not condoning the behavior.  Forgiveness is for us.  It lifts from us a burden that would otherwise weigh us down.  The other person might not ever care if we do not forgive. They may see their act as justified, no matter how wrong it is.  We cannot change other’s attitudes or actions if they do not want to change.  What forgiveness does is takes away another’s control over us.  It eliminates the knot in our stomach or ache in our head every time we cross their path.  Forgiveness does not necessarily put us in right relationship with the other person, but with God.  By having a right relationship with God, we now have power to put bitterness where it should be- not just buried, but destroyed.

Often times we hold our grudges because we think it is our responsibility to see justice done or at the least, let others know what they have done wrong or at least how much they have hurt us.  But that is a burden we cannot take upon ourselves.  Our chances, as the offended, of causing remorse in the offender, is pretty slim.  More often than not God will have to bring a third party or circumstance into the other person’s life to make any changes.  Our ability to change others is pretty limited and to change others who have offended us is even more difficult.  Usually the only thing we will achieve, will be changing ourselves into unhealthy, bitter, people.

Forgiveness is the condition of our hearts.  Reconciliation is the condition of a relationship.  Our heart condition involves us alone.  Reconciliation involves at least two people.  Any effort that involves more than one person takes some level of cooperation.  Reconciliation takes a right heart from all parties.  Forgiveness frees our hearts, but does not guarantee the heart condition of another.  True reconciliation necessitates a trustworthiness of everyone involved or it will eventually come apart.

When Elizabeth Barrett Browning married Robert Browning her tyrannical father disowned her.  For years Elizabeth never gave up on the relationship and every week wrote letters to her parents.  She never received a reply.  After ten years she received a box with every one of her letters, unopened.  Today those letters are some of the most beautiful writings in English literature.  Had her parents read them maybe their relationship could have been healed.  But the truth is, not even the most beautiful words in English literature can reconcile a heart that is hardened.  Elizabeth Browning had forgiven her father because forgiveness was up to her.  Elizabeth Browning was not reconciled with her father because reconciliation was up to both of them.

So there is a difference between reconciliation and forgiveness. On the cross, Jesus provided for the forgiveness of everyone. But not everyone will be reconciled with Him.  Forgiveness is extended because of who Jesus is, and if reconciliation with Him does not take place, it is because of who we are.   Some of us reject reconciliation with the risen Christ, even though He has done His part.  Christ did not wait for our move for reconciliation before he forgave us.  In the same way, we should not withhold forgiveness waiting for someone to seek reconciliation with us.

The writer of Hebrews tells us, “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.” (Hebrews 12:15)  Instead of sowing bitterness, we should prepare the ground with forgiveness in the hope that someday reconciliation will grow.  We are told to forgive, “Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive,” (Colossians 3:13) so that reconciliation might be possible,  “All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.” (2 Corinthians 5:18)  Forgiveness on our part might take place without reconciliation, but reconciliation cannot take place without forgiveness.  Take off the heavy pack of unforgiveness and see how much easier it is to travel without it.

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace  of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4:4-7

Our verses for today are familiar ones, but like many verses, need to be revisited quite often because worry often gives small things a big shadow and that big shadow can blot out today’s sunshine.  Worry is faith in reverse.  Instead of freeing us, it imprisons us, and most often about things that might not even be real.

There was a woman who constantly worried about burglars and never got a night’s sleep anticipating a nightly break-in.  Finally, after her husband had gone downstairs night after night to investigate normal sounds and invisible burglars, he actually came upon a man who had sneaked his way into the house.  “Well, hello there,” the husband exclaimed, “I am pleased to meet you.  Would you mind coming upstairs to meet my wife.  She has been waiting ten years to meet you.”  That is often what worry is all about.  Anticipating what may not happen at the expense at what does.

Worry often extracts interest on trouble before it comes due.  Like someone wise once said, “I’ve had a lot of trouble, most of which never happened!”  God calls us to turn over our cares to Him, but that is easier read than done.  God knows that we will still worry because we are fretters by nature.  Our sin nature has bred worry into us because faith is intentional while anxiety is natural.   Worry is a useless pursuit because it never gets us closer to a goal and on the contrary it slows our progress.

When I used to coach I told the players to learn their assignments so well that they did not have to worry about what they were going to do (that would just slow them down),  and consequently, they could just go out and do.  That is what we should strive to do- turn our worries over to God so that we can just do. David tells us, “When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul.” (Ps 94:19) If we don’t nip our worries in the bud, they will flourish into a weedy garden that will take all our time to work. We will spend more time on worry than worship and more time being anxious than active.

In these verses, God gives us several commands:  Always rejoice.  Be reasonable.  Never worry.  Come to God with your requests about everything.  These are not empty words like we so often hear from friends in times of need.  “Hang in there,” and “Tomorrow will be a better day,” and “Just put it out of your mind,” are all well-intentioned, but powerless statements.  They give the end without the means.  It is almost like giving someone the infamous Bermuda Triangle of directions, “You can’t miss it.”

How to “hang in there” is just as important as how to “get there.”  The how-to-dos are more important than the what-to-dos.

So God tells us how to negate the worries that assail us.  If we pray, if we rejoice, if we turn our requests over to Him, and if we are thankful, it will be hard to remain anxious.  Somewhere in that process, the worry will begin to melt.  Most of what we worry about is not worth the time investment anyway.

There was a man who decided to make a Worry Wednesday.  He would set aside his worries until Wednesday and worry about them then.  The funny thing was that by the time Wednesday rolled around, most of the worries he had were not worries any longer.

One thing we can do to cut back on worry is to be prepared.  When I give a speech, I don’t worry if I have truly taken the time to prepare (only the people I am speaking to are worried).  It is the same for us in life.  Paul says, “Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.”  (1 Corinthians 16:13) If we are in the Word, think upon God, and surround ourselves with godly influences, we will be prepared to handle what others might just worry about.  With preparation we will set aside much of what the world worries about.

We need to eliminate those things that will never happen.  There is an old Scottish saying “What may be, may not be.”  We have a tendency to worry about what might be even though it will, under all measurements, probably never be.  When ebola hit the US, some people spent so much time worrying about the disease, that it probably took more time off their lives than ebola ever could.  The Covid Crisis a few years past presented the same challenge to thousands who might have been “worrying themselves to death.”  That kind of worry is like being afraid to eat food because it might have chemicals in it and then starving to death.  It is said that 40% of what we worry about has no real chance of ever touching us.  Let’s eliminate those first.  We never want to worry too much about things over which we have no control at the expense of things we can control.

The next worry we should get rid of is things that have already past. In coaching I always said that the only important play is the next one.  If we allow the failure on the past play to affect our performance on the next we have given it more power than it deserves.  Here is the scenerio: a pitcher makes a good pitch and we swing, miss, and look silly in the process.  If we don’t shake that off and instead let that pitch affect our next swing, we have given the pitcher credit for what she has not earned.  The previous one pitch controlled us twice.  That should never be.  If we spend time in our daily lives worrying about the past, it will affect our present. We should not give more power to what is gone than what is yet to come.  I am retired now and it seems I am paying taxes on the same money I have already paid taxes on a couple of times before.  When it comes to worry, we should not spend energy on worries that we have already paid on before.

Finally, eliminate those worries about untrue criticism that comes from others.  If it is true criticism, listen to it, make changes, no worries.  If it untrue, ignore it, no worries. Not everything that people bring to our attention is worth keeping there. Some of the things that people criticize us for cannot be changed anyway.  If I worry about people who don’t like how short I am, that is a waste of time.  My last growth spurt was fifty years ago.  I am not holding my breath.  Some criticism is that foolish.

So, once we have eliminated those things that won’t happen, have already happened, or don’t matter if they happen, what do we do with the approximately 8% that is left.  Those are the legitimate worries that we need to take to God as He has instructed and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will become ours.

Admittedly, it is easier to complain than rejoice, be bitter rather than thankful, and panic than pray, but those are useless endeavors.  In Africa there are people who rely on witch doctors rather than real doctors and we think that is foolish.  But we are doing the same thing if we think complaining, bitterness, and panic are more effective than rejoicing, thankfulness, and prayer.  I had a friend once that complained about always having peanut butter sandwiches for lunch.  I told him that he should have his wife fix something different, but he told me he fixes his own lunches.  Doesn’t make sense to complain about that which we have control over any more than if makes sense to worry about things we shouldn’t.

It is so wonderful that the promises in our verses today are being delivered by a great God.  God welcomes us to bring our worries to Him.  I think it is our responsibility, however, to run them through a strainer first.  We can take every single worry to Him, but some should not be worries in the first place.  Our vice principal was talking to me years ago about how some teachers send him students for not bringing a pencil to class or doodling during a lecture.  Those are not heavy-duty discipline issues.  Those should be handled by the teacher.  Well, God expects us to look at our worries with discernment and take care of some of those before we send them to the office.

A while back I gave a lecture on router use in my shop class.  I said if the machine misbehaves, the first thing they need to do is turn it off.  A student ask me, “Shouldn’t we ask you first?” and I told him that I would just tell him to turn it off, so he can eliminate the middleman and do what I would tell him to do anyway.  If I am worried about my weight, God will probably tell me to exercise and eat right.  I can go right to those things without worry.  If I am worried about the way people see me, maybe I should treat people the way God’s Word instructs.  That might take care of a lot of worry.

Christian author John Blanchard has said it well, “So he supplies perfectly measured grace to meet the needs of the godly. For daily needs there is daily grace; for sudden needs, sudden grace; for overwhelming need, overwhelming grace. God’s grace has given wonderfully, but not wastefully; freely but not foolishly; bountifully but not blindly.”

God said it even better, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you.  Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”    (John 14:27)

“For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps.” (1 Peter 2:21)

I am sure that many people can look back on their courting days when they were on their best behavior trying to impress a boyfriend or girlfriend.  For some that might have been a completely authentic act and there was no guile at all, but for others it might have been a pretense rather than a preview of coming events. Authenticity is hard to come by.  When I spoke at my Dad’s memorial, that was one of the words I used to describe him.  When it came to my father, what a person saw was what what a person got.  He had no ulterior motives to his actions.  He was one of the most real men I ever knew.  As Christians, that is what we need to be- real.

I talked about that in last Sunday’s sermon on New Year’s resolutions.  The world is desperate for realness because we are surrounded by falseness.   Many people are doing the anatomically impossible by speaking out of both side of their mouths and many others seldom walk they way they talk.  It seems being genuine is just a pastime that people do only when it is convenient.  

There is a story about the time a fire broke out in a great theater. Hoping to avoid a panic, the manager sent out the lead actor to make the evacuation announcement. He explained what was happening and what the people needed to do to be safe and the crowd thought it was part of the show and give him applause. The actor continued and repeated the situation with more passion  and the people repeated their applause.  As the actor pleaded with them to run, they shouted bravos and suddenly the walls of the theater started to crash in around them. What they needed that day was a word they regarded as authentic.  Christianity is more than a performance. We need to give the “audience” lifesaving words they regard as real.

The writer of Hebrews states, “Christ also, having been offered once to bear the sins of many, shall appear a second time for salvation without reference to sin, to those who eagerly await him.”  (Hebrews 9:28)  If we have accepted the sin-bearing sacrifice of Christ, then we should also be one of those who is eagerly awaiting His return.  That may be one of those signs of authenticity. Do we anticipate the rapturing of the church with eagerness and try to bring as many others to take that incredible transformation with us, or would we just as soon have the rapture delayed because we prefer this world’s pleasures to heavenly ones.  If we think this world offers anything close to what heaven brings, we may not be a “real” as we would like to think.

When Jesus called for those to follow Him, some had other things to do first.  Dr. Luke records the following in 18:22-23  “When Jesus heard this, He said to him, ‘One thing you

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still lack; sell all that you possess and distribute it to the poor, and you shall have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.’  But when he had heard these things, he became very sad, for he was extremely rich.”  If we knew that tomorrow was the Day of the Rapture, would we be disappointed?  We might be disappointed for those who we know would be left behind, but would we also be disappointed because we think God can’t make eternity as cool as the world around us?  If we don’t believe in God’s wonderful provision, it is hard to be authentic about our faith.  It will be more of a have-to faith than a want-to one.

There is a story about a young girl who really wanted to go to college, but one of the questions on the application was “Are you a leader?”  She knew she wasn’t, but to be honest, she wrote “no” anticipating the worst.  Surprisingly, she received a letter of acceptance with an attached note that said, “according to our applications, we will have 1,472 leaders enrolling this semester. We thought it would be good to have at least one follower.”  If we were to fill out a heavenly application that asked, “are you an authentic Christian,” there would probably be only few that would write no.  The question is, how many should write “no”?  The next question is, if we should write “no,” why don’t we change, so we can write yes.  Remember, authentic will never mean we are just like Christ- authentic means we intentionally strive through the power of the Holy Spirit to be as Christlike as we can.  It means that “realness” is a priority in our lives.

We don’t want to be a sad replica of the real thing.  The original is Jesus Christ.  We are supposed to replicate him, not to be a cheap knock-off of sorts.  There is a saying that realness is being the same person when no one is around.  When we attend church it is easy to think that everyone is authentic, but what are they like during the week?  Sunday is sometimes like the courting stage of a relationship.  “All dressed up in the Sunday best wearing smiles to impress.” But realness also necessitates consistency of behavior.  If we are going to live out our faith, it cannot be selective.  It needs to be an all-the-time thing.  If we enjoy the world so much that we think going to be with the Lord would be step down, authenticity is probably pretty hard.

We are to be imitators of Christ, but not superficial ones.  We are called to follow in His steps.  On the battlefield when someone is carrying a mine detector those behind him follow in his steps- exactly.  They do not take their own path.  The place their feet right in the footprints of the one who can take them to safety.  We need to do that.  We cannot be the one who knows exactly where to step, but we can certainly be the one who doesn’t drift  to another path.  The people around us may not be able to see Jesus ahead of them and they may just step where we do.  If they have more than one set of footprints to choose from, that starts to be confusing.  We need to stay in step with Christ, for our own benefit and for the benefit of those who may follow us.

We have an example of authenticity in Christ.  He was not caught up in the world.  In Philippians 2:13 it says, “For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.”  He will help us to be like Him. We are not left to be Christlike without Christ’s help.  So let us be like the Corinthians who were “awaiting eagerly the revelation of our Lord Jesus Christ” (1 Corinthians 1:7), and like the Philippians whose “citizenship was in heaven, from which also [they] eagerly waited for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.”  (Philippians 3:20).  The degree of our authenticity may be in direct proportion to our degree of anticipation for His return.  If we are lackadaisical about that, we might be lackadaisical about our “realness.”

Proverbs 1:32  “For simpletons turn away from me—to death. Fools are destroyed by their own complacency.”

Last week I talked a bit about apathy, but today I would like to talk a little bit about its not too distant cousin, complacency.  Apathy is being disengaged with the surrounding world and circumstances whereas complacency is being satisfied with less than the surrounding  world and circumstances have to offer.  

Complacency is settling for less than what we should because we have a false sense of contentment.  It makes us sit back on our hands instead of forging ahead in our spiritual lives.  Unfortunately, complacency is the disease that everyone denies having.  As we all know, however, the first step in getting well is admitting we have a problem.

Complacent Christians have the idea that they have arrived.  In America this is an especially easy state of mind to fall into.  We have it pretty easy compared to the rest of the world.  Why should we get callouses on our knees praying when we have almost all we want and more.  Unfortunately, when we lack any feeling of need or desperation, we get sloppy in our worship.   

Barna Research reports that since the nineties, Americans have become more spiritually complacent. 40% of born again Christians do not attend church or read the Bible in a typical week, 30% are not “absolutely committed to the Christian faith” and 70% are not involved in a small group that meets for spiritual purposes. The percentage of adults who can be classified as “born again” rose from 35% from the early 90s to 41% in the early 2000s. However, participation in 4 key behaviors declined and have continued to decline in this century; Bible reading (down from 45% to 37%); church attendance (from 49% to 42%); volunteering at church (from 27% to 20%); and adult Sunday school attendance (from 23% to 19%).   The recent Covid scare has not helped matters.  It is predicted that many of the people who have gotten in the habit of not attending due to Covid will not attend after Covid.   

There is a story of a tool company that manufactured drill bits. Faced with financial losses, company executives gathered to discuss the problem: a declining demand for drill bits. The CEO challenged his men: “How can we revive the bit market?” After an embarrassing silence, one member of the team dispelled the fog: “Sir, the market isn’t for bits–its for holes!” This simple truth illustrates what the church needs to recognize.  Complacent people feel fulfilled because they don’t feel needy. People are not in the market for spiritual activity because they don’t see a need for spiritual activity.     When someone needs to drill a hole he will think about buying a drill bit and when someone needs to fill a hole in his life he will look for a place to fill it.   In this time the church needs to be that place for unbelievers and believers alike.

There is the story of three demons who were exchanging ideas to bring about the downfall of man.  The first said, “Let’s tell them there is no God.”  The second said, “Let’s tell them there is no Hell.”  The third said, “Let’s tell them that there is no hurry.”  It seems to me that they settled on the third suggestion.

Revelation warns us about this complacency in the future.  “I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot; I wish that you were cold or hot. So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth. Because you say, ‘I am rich, and have become wealthy, and have need of nothing,’ and you do not know that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked,”  (Revelation 3:15-17)  Is that the future or has the future arrived?   God warns us of being lukewarm because it is more dangerous than being hot or cold.  It has just enough heat to make us believe that we are okay.  That kind of deception is a favorite ploy of Satan and many in the church seem to be falling for it.

There is a great story about the famous, fiery English pastor, A.J. Gordon, who became the pastor at a large, well-established, but cold Boston church.  After just a few weeks many of the senior members of the congregation moved to oust him because of his bold condemnation of the lifelessness of the church.  After about a month, right before the axe was about to fall he gave a sermon called “The funeral of the Church.”  It was a no-holds-barred, tell-it-the-way-it-is, God’s-Word-is-His-Word sermon.   The theme was that the church was a casket and like a casket there was no room for converts because coffins are built for only the dead.  He warned them of impending disaster if they did not repent.  It was an hour of truth.  Toward the end of the sermon the doors in the back of the church swung open and six solemn-faced pall bearers carried a casket up to the front.  Pastor Gordon lifted the lid and challenged the congregation to file past the coffin to view the deceased on the way out.  In the coffin, you guessed it, a giant mirror.

It seems to me that too many of us today need to look in the mirror to see if our complacency is leading unto death.  Paul tells us,  “Test yourselves to see if you are in the faith; examine yourselves! Or do you not recognize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you–unless indeed you fail the test?”  (2 Corinthians 13:5)   It is hard to change others, but we can start with ourselves.  Have we become “fat and sassy” in our christian lives?  Are we going through the motions because that is all it takes anymore?  Do we put more time into the needless and neglect the needful?   We need to be cautious so that we don’t fall into the trap that Paul warns us of in Corinthians,   “Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall.”  (1 Corinthians 10:1)

So it is time for the church put on its big-boy pants.  It is hard to put pants on someone else, so we should worry about our own legs first, but we shouldn’t be shy about pointing out lack of fervor in the Body of Christ.  It is time to take our spiritual lives seriously even if things are going so well that it seems we don’t need God.  That is, of course, facetious.  No matter how it seems, we need God.  We should not be fooled.  The demons have lied.  There is a hurry and those around us could use our hurriedness on their behalf.

‘And I will say to my soul, “Soul, you have many goods laid up for many years to come; take your ease, eat, drink and be merry.”‘   Luke 12:19

It seems that the ability in this day and age to record video on our phones and send it instantly around the world has changed how we intervene in difficult situations.  The other day I saw a store video of man who had a heart attack and the car he was driving careened through the front doors of a store.  Before the car even reached the glass there were people with their phones out recording the whole thing.  When the car finally came to a halt with the man slumped over the wheel there were four people with their phones pointed toward the car and none of them made a move to help the driver.  I am sure they eventually did, but not before they got  video evidence that they could send to friends or news media or TMZ.  Their first instinct wasn’t to help, but to record.  That inward desire to help those in need might be on the decrease in the world, but it should not be that way for the church.

Apathy is defined as absence or suppression of passion, emotion, or excitement or a lack of interest in or concern for things that others find moving or exciting.  It is indifference to others concerns or needs.  It is the opposite of empathy which is the act of deeply identifying with someone else’s feelings or needs.  They say that when a husband feels sympathy for his wife’s uncomfortable pregnancy, he feels sorry for her.  When he has empathy, he gets morning sickness as well!  We live in an every increasing place of apathy rather than empathy.  Stories like the one above are becoming the norm, not the exception.  But that should not be the church.  We should, at the least, be the last bastion of concern for others in a world that promotes concern for self.  Not only should we be quick to help in specific times of need, we should not be hesitant to step out to a hurting world with our good news of the healing Christ.

Even though the word empathy or its Greek equivalent cannot be found in the New Testament, the idea of empathy can be found many places. The apostle Peter counseled Christians to have “compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous . . .” (1 Peter 3:8) and the apostle Paul recommended similar sentiments when he exhorted fellow Christians to “rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15).  No one should have a more deep-seated concern for others than the Body of Christ.  Jesus showed more empathy on our behalf than anyone who has ever lived and we need to convey that sacrificial heart to those around us by the way we live.  Our call in God’s Word is to be called to empathy, not apathy, yet even in the church, apathy is beginning to rear its ugly head.

I once asked a student what apathy was and he said, “I don’t know, and I don’t care.”  He was kidding, but it was almost a perfect definition!  I once heard that the nice thing about apathy is you don’t have to exert yourself to show you’re sincere about it.  Unfortunately, there are many today that are especially sincere about their apathy.  As we look at the growing crises around us, we can’t allow ourselves to be hardened to the to the point that we don’t notice the needs.  I heard about a company that recently came out with blank bumper stickers.  They were for people who don’t want to get involved!  Well, that cannot be us.  We need to be involved because we have a message of love that the world needs.  If not, the penalty we pay for not being involved in the things of this world will be that the world will be governed by those who don’t love.  It would be careless for us to allow the world to be run by those who care less.

We should be the first to come to those in need.  Whether it is friend who is distraught or the co-worker who feels caught, we must read the feelings around us and be ready to respond.  John told us that, “Whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him?” (1 John 3:17)  We must look for opportunities to intentionally show love to one another.  Apathy blinds us, but empathy enlightens us.  Others pain or distress or dilemma should be the impetus for us to spring into action.   Jesus said that the second of the great commandments after loving God is to “Love your neighbor as yourself.”  (Matthew 22:39)   That doesn’t sound like apathy, but empathy.  Peter reiterates this in his book when he says, “Above all, maintain an intense love for each other, since love covers a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8)   Empathy should be the glasses that we look at others through.  If we do that, it will free us up to love as the Bible instructs.  Someone once said that empathy is your pain in my heart.  How apt a notion.

Years ago a very rich and influential man by the name of Cecil Rhodes threw a gala event to which he invited a young man.  Cecil Rhodes, whose fortune would eventually endow the famous Rhodes Scholarship, was a stickler for proper dress at these events.  Strangely, he disappeared shortly before the banquet began.  The young man who had been invited came straight from the train station and was embarrassed about his appearance.  He was in total disarray, yet he was surrounded by the most finely dressed people in the city.  Cecil Rhodes, reappeared after his untimely dissappearance wearing a rumpled and plain looking blue suit.  He walked up and greeted his young invitee.  Rhodes had heard of his friends dilemma ahead of time and went out to change into a suit that would take the sting off his friend’s embarrassment.   It worked and it also taught a valuable lesson to all who were in attendance.

We have a God who emphasizes with our plights.  He personally feels our pain.  More than that, He personally experienced our pain.  Even more that than He took our pain upon Himself.  That is the greatest act of empathy that has every been displayed in the history of the world.  God knows our hurts.  The psalmist tells us, “You number my wanderings; put my tears into Your bottle; are they not in Your book?” (Psalm 56:8).  What a comfort it is to know that God tracks our every tear.  What a comfort we would be to others if we noticed their tea

Jesus is our good shepherd and He is alert to our needs.  Because we have the good shepherd in our lives, we too can look around us to others needs.  When Elaine and I were coming home from Lebanon awhile back, we saw a huge herd of sheep in a field.  All the sheep formed a large circle and right in the middle away from all the other sheep were two black sheep.  I guess the saying about the black sheep being ostracized is really true.  It was so strange looking, that I almost wanted to take a picture of it.  That kind of estrangement might be okay with sheep, but it should not be with people.  When we see people who are separated or needy or hurting, they don’t need to be photographed, they need to be helped.  We have that help, no matter the problem.  Christ is the great physician and His love is the balm that can heal all wounds.   We are like spiritual EMTs and need to be on call at all times.

Christ’s love is more than walking in other’s moccasins.  It is giving them our own.  Christ walked in ours then gave Himself for us, that we might not have to barefoot in a rocky world.  Let’s follow His example.